A short story.

A man walks into a sandwich shop near his office park. Inside, there’s a menu of sandwiches. Each one is made by a different sandwich maker. His boss gave him a card for a Chicken Sandwich, so that’s what he’s going to get. It’s ‘free,’ right? He thinks.

There’s some construction in the sandwich shop, with a cheeseburger stand that might open. A lot of people in the office park were really excited about the cheeseburger. The cheeseburger would be another choice, and they heard the cheeseburger would be really cheap. Those other different sandwich guys were starting to raise the costs on those sandwiches by a lot. A lot of people still had their cards from their bosses, but some people didn’t get them all the time. They were hoping they could either get the cheeseburger, or that the other sandwiches would get a little cheaper for the times they didn’t have the cards from their bosses.

But the manager of the sandwich shop was not happy. He was worried that he’d have to start making less money on his other sandwiches, and he wanted to keep his big boat that he bought after he made the sandwiches really expensive. So he told a few people in the office park that the cheeseburgers would be really bad.

“You don’t want those cheeseburgers to come here! They’ll make all the other sandwiches taste bad! And you’ll get poisoned! And there’s bugs in the cheeseburger! The people who make the cheeseburger were not even born here and therefore not allowed to even make sandwiches!”

Whew, the manager thought. That might have worked. Suddenly the people to whom he told the stories were spreading them around the office park! Everyone was confused now, and they weren’t sure they wanted cheeseburgers anymore. They knew some people at the other office parks really liked the cheeseburgers, and that some of the retired workers were able to buy cheeseburgers. But they were very very skeptical about the buggy, poisoned, not-born-here cheeseburgers and what those dangerous cheeseburgers could lead to!

However, other people insisted that the cheeseburger would be a good choice, just incase you didn’t get the card from your boss or if you were too hungry to get one of the other sandwiches. They warned that the stories weren’t true, and the manager was just mad because he wanted to keep raising the prices on the other sandwiches so he could keep his boat.

While he was waiting in line, the man looked over at the empty, under-construction cheeseburger stand. It was gathering dust because the people had been arguing about it for what seemed like a million years. So long, in fact, that some people didn’t get their cards anymore, and couldn’t buy any of the other sandwiches either because they were so expensive if you didn’t have the card.

But in the shop there are still many people selecting sandwiches, many of them with different cards. Some people are buying the sandwiches without cards, for a bunch of different prices. Some people are walking out of the restaurant with nothing, but the man is not sure why. Some people look over at the cheeseburger stand, wishing it was open. Some of the people are really really hungry, some are not, but everyone is in line for the sandwiches.

The man thinks that someday he might want to get a cheeseburger; maybe if there’s no more boss to give him the card for the chicken sandwich. And the cheeseburger is supposed to be a really good deal. In fact, the makers of the other sandwiches in the restaurant will probably have to lower their costs to compete with the cheeseburger. People like all the other sandwiches too, not everyone wants or needs the cheeseburger. But some people are really hungry, with no cards from their bosses, and there’s no cheeseburger to choose. Also, the man doesn’t think the manager should be able to have a boat just because the people in the office park are hungry and have to either buy his sandwiches or not eat lunch.

But then the man thinks: what if those rumors might be true! I don’t need a cheeseburger today. I shouldn’t worry about those other people who might want a cheeseburger. Maybe this cheeseburger stand shouldn’t exist! After all, I have this card for the Chicken Sandwich. Why should anyone get to choose the cheeseburger?

The man decides that there should absolutely be no cheeseburger! Why should the cheeseburger maker recieve any money from the people in the office park? So what if it’s affordable? He doesn’t need it, because he has his card. Everyone else should work for that card themselves, and then they can get Chicken Sandwiches. And the manager probably needs that boat for his parties. Maybe someday the man could buy a boat too, and have parties. The people who told him the stories were talking really really loudly, so the stories must be true.

He laughs to himself, and doubts this simple cheeseburger’s ability to keep the cost of the other sandwiches low. Besides, he doesn’t care if the chicken sandwich is more expensive in the absence of the cheeseburger. He doesn’t mind that the cost of the card from his boss covers the extra people that work on the chicken sandwich versus the cheeseburger. He doesn’t have to pay for the card, his boss does. Besides, there was so much office park money spent on last year’s dogeball tournament with the other office park. The man thought that money was okay, but didn’t think they needed to spend any money on cheeseburgers even if the workers are hungry.

While thinking about this, the man gets really hungry himself! It’s his turn in the line for the Chicken Sandwich. The man steps up to the front and orders with his card.

The vendor says, “I’m sorry, sir. You’re too hungry for this Chicken Sandwich. We can’t give it to you.”

“But I have this card,” the man says. “The card says when I’m hungry I get a Chicken Sandwich.”

“I’m sorry,” the vendor says. “We have this rule here that says if you are this type of hungry we cannot provide this Chicken Sandwich to you. You would require too much Chicken Sandwich.” The vendor pulls out a big stack of paper and shows the man a list of hunger types that void the ability to get a Chicken Sandwich.

“But I have this card,” the man says.

“I’m sorry. This card doesn’t cover this kind of hungry.”

“What am I supposed to eat, then?” The man asks.

The vendor explained that the man could buy a chicken sandwich, but he’d have to pay a really large amount of money for the sandwich. Or the man could go back and wait in one of the other long lines and pay for one of the other sandwiches. Or, if he wanted, he could just stay hungry or hope he never gets hungry anymore.

The man was baffled. He didn’t understand why he couldn’t have his lunch. Suddenly, he understood the cheeseburger! Because he worked in the office park, he would be entitled to get the cheeseburger for a lower price! Or maybe if the cheeseburger existed, he could still get his Chicken Sandwich with his card because the vendor wouldn’t want to lose his business.

The man looked at the cheeseburger stand with disgust. He was very hungry, and very upset. He suddenly realized why other people were leaving without any food, and like them, he just went back to work. He was hoping he didn’t get any hungrier, or he’d have to buy one of those really expensive sandwiches just to get by.

The manager could see the man from the kitchen. He laughed and laughed, knowing the man would have to come and buy the sandwich anyway. And then he took out a picture of his boat.

The End.

This entry was posted on Thursday, October 1st, 2009 at 4:40 pm and is filed under frustrations. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.