A short story.

A man walks into a sandwich shop near his office park. Inside, there’s a menu of sandwiches. Each one is made by a different sandwich maker. His boss gave him a card for a Chicken Sandwich, so that’s what he’s going to get. It’s ‘free,’ right? He thinks.

There’s some construction in the sandwich shop, with a cheeseburger stand that might open. A lot of people in the office park were really excited about the cheeseburger. The cheeseburger would be another choice, and they heard the cheeseburger would be really cheap. Those other different sandwich guys were starting to raise the costs on those sandwiches by a lot. A lot of people still had their cards from their bosses, but some people didn’t get them all the time. They were hoping they could either get the cheeseburger, or that the other sandwiches would get a little cheaper for the times they didn’t have the cards from their bosses.

But the manager of the sandwich shop was not happy. He was worried that he’d have to start making less money on his other sandwiches, and he wanted to keep his big boat that he bought after he made the sandwiches really expensive. So he told a few people in the office park that the cheeseburgers would be really bad.

“You don’t want those cheeseburgers to come here! They’ll make all the other sandwiches taste bad! And you’ll get poisoned! And there’s bugs in the cheeseburger! The people who make the cheeseburger were not even born here and therefore not allowed to even make sandwiches!”

Whew, the manager thought. That might have worked. Suddenly the people to whom he told the stories were spreading them around the office park! Everyone was confused now, and they weren’t sure they wanted cheeseburgers anymore. They knew some people at the other office parks really liked the cheeseburgers, and that some of the retired workers were able to buy cheeseburgers. But they were very very skeptical about the buggy, poisoned, not-born-here cheeseburgers and what those dangerous cheeseburgers could lead to!

However, other people insisted that the cheeseburger would be a good choice, just incase you didn’t get the card from your boss or if you were too hungry to get one of the other sandwiches. They warned that the stories weren’t true, and the manager was just mad because he wanted to keep raising the prices on the other sandwiches so he could keep his boat.

While he was waiting in line, the man looked over at the empty, under-construction cheeseburger stand. It was gathering dust because the people had been arguing about it for what seemed like a million years. So long, in fact, that some people didn’t get their cards anymore, and couldn’t buy any of the other sandwiches either because they were so expensive if you didn’t have the card.

But in the shop there are still many people selecting sandwiches, many of them with different cards. Some people are buying the sandwiches without cards, for a bunch of different prices. Some people are walking out of the restaurant with nothing, but the man is not sure why. Some people look over at the cheeseburger stand, wishing it was open. Some of the people are really really hungry, some are not, but everyone is in line for the sandwiches.

The man thinks that someday he might want to get a cheeseburger; maybe if there’s no more boss to give him the card for the chicken sandwich. And the cheeseburger is supposed to be a really good deal. In fact, the makers of the other sandwiches in the restaurant will probably have to lower their costs to compete with the cheeseburger. People like all the other sandwiches too, not everyone wants or needs the cheeseburger. But some people are really hungry, with no cards from their bosses, and there’s no cheeseburger to choose. Also, the man doesn’t think the manager should be able to have a boat just because the people in the office park are hungry and have to either buy his sandwiches or not eat lunch.

But then the man thinks: what if those rumors might be true! I don’t need a cheeseburger today. I shouldn’t worry about those other people who might want a cheeseburger. Maybe this cheeseburger stand shouldn’t exist! After all, I have this card for the Chicken Sandwich. Why should anyone get to choose the cheeseburger?

The man decides that there should absolutely be no cheeseburger! Why should the cheeseburger maker recieve any money from the people in the office park? So what if it’s affordable? He doesn’t need it, because he has his card. Everyone else should work for that card themselves, and then they can get Chicken Sandwiches. And the manager probably needs that boat for his parties. Maybe someday the man could buy a boat too, and have parties. The people who told him the stories were talking really really loudly, so the stories must be true.

He laughs to himself, and doubts this simple cheeseburger’s ability to keep the cost of the other sandwiches low. Besides, he doesn’t care if the chicken sandwich is more expensive in the absence of the cheeseburger. He doesn’t mind that the cost of the card from his boss covers the extra people that work on the chicken sandwich versus the cheeseburger. He doesn’t have to pay for the card, his boss does. Besides, there was so much office park money spent on last year’s dogeball tournament with the other office park. The man thought that money was okay, but didn’t think they needed to spend any money on cheeseburgers even if the workers are hungry.

While thinking about this, the man gets really hungry himself! It’s his turn in the line for the Chicken Sandwich. The man steps up to the front and orders with his card.

The vendor says, “I’m sorry, sir. You’re too hungry for this Chicken Sandwich. We can’t give it to you.”

“But I have this card,” the man says. “The card says when I’m hungry I get a Chicken Sandwich.”

“I’m sorry,” the vendor says. “We have this rule here that says if you are this type of hungry we cannot provide this Chicken Sandwich to you. You would require too much Chicken Sandwich.” The vendor pulls out a big stack of paper and shows the man a list of hunger types that void the ability to get a Chicken Sandwich.

“But I have this card,” the man says.

“I’m sorry. This card doesn’t cover this kind of hungry.”

“What am I supposed to eat, then?” The man asks.

The vendor explained that the man could buy a chicken sandwich, but he’d have to pay a really large amount of money for the sandwich. Or the man could go back and wait in one of the other long lines and pay for one of the other sandwiches. Or, if he wanted, he could just stay hungry or hope he never gets hungry anymore.

The man was baffled. He didn’t understand why he couldn’t have his lunch. Suddenly, he understood the cheeseburger! Because he worked in the office park, he would be entitled to get the cheeseburger for a lower price! Or maybe if the cheeseburger existed, he could still get his Chicken Sandwich with his card because the vendor wouldn’t want to lose his business.

The man looked at the cheeseburger stand with disgust. He was very hungry, and very upset. He suddenly realized why other people were leaving without any food, and like them, he just went back to work. He was hoping he didn’t get any hungrier, or he’d have to buy one of those really expensive sandwiches just to get by.

The manager could see the man from the kitchen. He laughed and laughed, knowing the man would have to come and buy the sandwich anyway. And then he took out a picture of his boat.

The End.

Posted in frustrations | 1 Comment »

So, yesterday was fun. I had a card number monopolized and two of my important accounts accessed by a THIEF.

I hesitate to talk about it. These things happen and you suddenly feel very vulnerable. But I think purging the stress helps, and also maybe someone would learn from it. Although, Google analytics said I have zero readers. Zero. I guess at least the identity thief is not reading my blog.

So yesterday I got an email receipt for something I didn’t buy from a company that transfers money that we all know. I know better than to click on the email incase it was a fake, so I accessed my account and couldn’t get in. Like any normal girl, I called my husband at work to tell him this!

We determined that my email was also being accessed. Mike acted immediately and fixed the email account and the other account. We updated passwords and changed security questions. We also contested the charge right away. It was less than 10 minutes before the company called me. They were extremely helpful and had information I couldn’t have gotten on my own.

They knew that the person had authenticated the account with my credit card. As I already had money in this account that was spent, I never would have KNOWN he had my credit card. In fact, if I didn’t have this account, I may never have known he was stealing money. It was the immediate email receipts that I received before he changed my email password (locking me out of my account) that alerted me to this.

Within 15 minutes we had my credit card canceled and my email and other account restored to my name and new passwords. Ha! Nothing gets by us!

The moral? Well, I’m already really smart online. I never use a site that isn’t secure or doesn’t feel reputable. I believe wholeheartedly in using Etsy and buying from individuals through secure money transfer sites. And I never click on emails that tell me to enter my credit card number or anything stupid like that. (Remember, those are always fake!) So, it’s easy to feel angry: I didn’t deserve it!

I recently did some work for a personal client who said “I don’t believe in putting my credit card online, sorry.” So, would this have happened if I lived like this person? Maybe not, but I know better! Everything is automated. Your credit card is whizzing around all over the place. That person’s check was probably more likely to get stolen out of my mailbox. My purse was probably more likely to have been stolen. I just think it’s naive to think we’re only vulnerable if we use our credit card online. We hear all the time of stores getting hacked, or other databases.

Yes, it was probably from some online transaction that this person was able to snag my email and password and card number. It would have been smarter of me NOT to use the same password. This is something I KNOW and never do because it’s too hard to remember. And I do not kid when I say I was JUST thinking the other day that I’ve had my passwords too long and it was time to change them up a bit.

So, here’s what I learned:

Have different passwords for everything
Change your passwords regularly
If you suspect a breach, log into your accounts immediately an check it out
Contact the accounts as quickly as possible — my problem was FIXED! I will point out that I lost no money.
Always make sure there is a secure connection when you order online (not a silver bullet, but still a must)
Don’t assume it can’t happen to you! Even if you NEVER shop online.

And KEEP AND EYE ON EVERYTHING! Make sure your accounts all have your current email address. If I hadn’t seen that receipt, he may have had time to do more. Yeah, we check the credit card statement, but that’s only once a month.

I say take 5 minutes today and check out your accounts, change any passwords you’ve had for a while, and make sure you know how to respond quickly if you have a breach. Look up and know what you would need to do if someone took over your accounts. Oh, and your email company probably does NOT have a phone number. Also, I was very grateful that I don’t store a lot of stuff in my email. Not folders with passwords or account log-ins. I have heard that people do this! That’s crazy!

People are always looking for a quick buck, or ways to get something for nothing. I’m pretty sure that’s what this was, and nothing more. At least after Mike convinced me to stop worrying about it and move on. It was caught and fixed!

Can you guess which shorts-wearing hero is going to deliver my new, overnighted credit card? Yay, UPS!

Posted in frustrations | 3 Comments »

Okay, today an almost really horrible thing happened. I’m at the busiest four-way stop in Ballard, on my way to meet Mike for 5:30 yoga. It’s a very pedestrian heavy four way, so you have to be really cautious and yeild a lot. I stopped at the stop well behind the crosswalk, waited my turn, and started to go.

Suddenly, there was a girl on a skateboard RIGHT IN FRONT OF MY CAR. She came from my blind spot FLYING down the sidewalk and into the street.

I slammed on my breaks, and I gasped. She fell off the skateboard (not down on the ground, but off her skateboard). I think she was close enough that she actually put her hands on the hood. She was completely shocked and she said “sorry!” and I said “sorry!” and I sat at the stop a minute more (with my hand on my heart!) and waited while she passed and I recovered.

It was terrifying. I was almost in tears afterward. I mean, she came out of NOWHERE — I guess from in front of the library, she was going so fast. I met Mike in the parking lot right after that, and said my ‘hellos’ and ‘how was your days’ and told him about it. If he hadn’t shown up right away to distract me, he probably would have found me having a panic attack in my car.

So, how are you supposed to feel in those situations? It wasn’t even CLOSE to my fault that she flew in front of me and didn’t look or stop. But it would have been my fault if I had HIT her! I mean I was coming from a stop, but STILL. I have a goal in life to never touch flesh with my car!

I went to yoga shaken, but felt better after. I decided that hopefully the girl learned from the experience to approach stop signs with caution (or perhaps to at least pause at them) and hopefully as a result of this will not get hit by any cars in the future. I was of course reminded to be as alert as possible. (No, I was not on my phone or doing anything else at this moment.) But it never hurts to be reminded.

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I’m having growing pains with my new blog. Ugh, photo editing is such a pain!! I can’t drag and drop or crop a photo within a blog post. For a designer, that’s annoying. There are no borders or spacing options really, or anything to make the photo look good. (I liked iWeb for this – automatic text wrapping, borders, etc.) 

There are a host of other reasons we decided to switch to wordpress blogs. The photo thing, turns out NOT to be one of them. 

I also don’t want to keep 5 different photo galleries. How annyoing. So, I have pictures of my trip and I have to put them on my blog, and on my Facebook, and they’re already in iPhoto, but all these things don’t work together. So you can upload plugins to work with the website. I found one for automatically synching my facebook photos with the blog. Perfect! 

Doesn’t work. Isn’t going to work again thanks to facebook updates. 

Decided to sign up for flickr since it has a link in iPhoto (unlike Picasa), plugins for facebook and the blog, and I can email photos to it. Still trying to adjust to it. Didn’t want to sign up for anything extra in the first place, but would at least like ONE THING that can work with everything else. (This is why I use a mac… iPhoto, iPhone, iWeb, E-mail – all works together!!) 

Still not working very well with the blog. So I have to keep trying other plug ins to see which of these “developers” actually came up with a plugin that actually works without downloading something else, tweaking it, installing other things. 

Notice there are no pictures in this post. Because I haven’t figured out the simplest way to do it yet! Stay tuned.

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